The Choosers

Choosers- a term I coined for people who think they have the coolness, looks, popularity, over-all package to reject other people and they only want to be associated with people that they think can match their "coolness factor".

Who are these people?

a. They wouldn't reply to your invitations, even if it's just a simple 'yes' or 'no', claiming to be 'busy'... when you see them after a few days hanging out at a cafe with other people that they met from who-knows-where. If they have time just to "chill" and hang-out, definitely, they should have time to reply with a simple one-word 'yes' or 'no', right? Again, joining and replying are two different things. Just because you have no plans to join something doesn't mean that your bad behavior of not replying is excusable!

b. They are very choosy with people! They can make all the excuses in the world if they think you're not cool enough... but they have all the time and capabilities to tag along like a puppy to those they find "cool".

c. Excuses such as "I don't know those people that well to hang out with them" are common sentences you hear from them... but then, you see them after a few days hanging out or going out-of-town with people that they met on that exact day only! Please, if you're going to make an excuse, make sure it's good enough that it doesn't come back and bite you (you know where)!

d. Another common excuse is, "Oh! I'm kind of tight on the budget right now... so I can't join your land trip."... And then you see them going on a more expensive airplane trip with other people on the very same dates as your land trip!

e. You tell them: "Hey, lunch time! Let's go!"

What they do: pretend they're deaf or busy or that they have stiff necks that they cannot even look up and acknowledge you...

You know, a simple, "Later. Thanks." or "Ok" will do... thankyouverymuch!

f. They are very active in social networks... Facebook, Twitter, etc... replying to and trying to get the attention of those "cool" people, uploading photo albums... whereas they cannot even make the effort to reply once to photos/notes you tagged of them.

g. They wait for you to engage with them when you're together, even acting bored... but they can't wait to engage with and tell animated stories to their "cool" friends.

h. They ignore you when they're with the "cool" group.

i. They keep their plans and trips a "secret"... cause they fear that everyone will want to go with them once they learn of their "cool" plans and gimmicks. I know of a group who even had an 'election' on who can join their "secret-and-oh-so-cool-so-they-believe" party.

j. They sorely lack respect, humility and etiquette. Period.

Yes, we all make choices in our everyday lives: what to wear, where to eat, what time to go home, what route to take, what television show to watch... We cannot be put at fault for making choices as they are a natural part of life.

I also make choices on the friends I want to keep and hang out with. But I do my best to do it with grace and courtesy. And definitely, there's no reason to exhibit such bad manners and etiquette to those people who "unfortunately" didn't make the cut for your coolness meter. We are all people and we all deserve respect from one another. And for me, people who don't know how to respect their fellow men are definitely "un-cool"!

What Choosers have to realize is that when people invite them, it's not because they're "hot stuffs" that people are just dying to hang out with. A lot of times, people are just being friendly, kind, polite or considerate. They don't have to act all-mighty just cause people they don't want to hang out with are inviting them... for all they know, those people are also silently saying,"Oh, I'm just inviting you cause I want to be kind/polite to someone who has no real friends. But please say NO!"

For me, there's no reason to limit your friendships to a handful of "cool" people. We are not limited in the number of friends we can have in our lifetime. Each person is unique and carries different stories and everyone is "cool" in their own way. We can learn something from about anyone in this world, even from cute babies who can't even talk!