My reading assignment right now is “Fit To Be Tied” by Bill and Lynne Hybels. According to the book, there are 3 kinds of relationships: Draining Relationships, Neutral Relationships and Replenishing Relationships.
Draining relationships are basically your relationships with toxic people… those people who just want to take, take, take! Sometimes, people like that do it consciously, while others are so used to taking that they’re no longer conscious of their behaviour. People you feel you need to take care of, even though they should be capable of taking care of themselves, fall under this category.
Neutral relationships are those that impact you neither positively or negatively. It’s a relationship of give-and-take, it’s okay if you’re able to spend time with these people, but you don’t crave to spend lots of time with them.
Replenishing relationships are the most important relationships to keep… as the name implies, these are the interactions and relationships that can revive your energy, help you learn and inspire you. Are there people in your life that just make you feel better about yourself? Or people that after you talk to them, you feel clearer about your path in life and you feel energized to work on improving yourself? It’s hard to find relationships like that and once you find one, better hold on to it!
“Fit To Be Tied” is a marriage-related book and you might be wondering what this concept has to do with marriage. Well, the authors point out that it’s hard to maintain a good and fruitful marriage when every time you go home to your spouse, you no longer have the energy to build your relationship with him/her. Obviously, that’s a big NO-NO. Your other relationships might be short-lived, but the relationship that is supposed to last a lifetime is your relationship with your spouse.
So in relation to these 3 kinds of relationships, the best way to go is to minimize those draining relationships, maintain a few neutral relationships and foster your replenishing relationships.
How do you recognize a draining relationship then? I would like to talk about that more in my next post “Toxic”.
Draining relationships are basically your relationships with toxic people… those people who just want to take, take, take! Sometimes, people like that do it consciously, while others are so used to taking that they’re no longer conscious of their behaviour. People you feel you need to take care of, even though they should be capable of taking care of themselves, fall under this category.
Neutral relationships are those that impact you neither positively or negatively. It’s a relationship of give-and-take, it’s okay if you’re able to spend time with these people, but you don’t crave to spend lots of time with them.
Replenishing relationships are the most important relationships to keep… as the name implies, these are the interactions and relationships that can revive your energy, help you learn and inspire you. Are there people in your life that just make you feel better about yourself? Or people that after you talk to them, you feel clearer about your path in life and you feel energized to work on improving yourself? It’s hard to find relationships like that and once you find one, better hold on to it!
“Fit To Be Tied” is a marriage-related book and you might be wondering what this concept has to do with marriage. Well, the authors point out that it’s hard to maintain a good and fruitful marriage when every time you go home to your spouse, you no longer have the energy to build your relationship with him/her. Obviously, that’s a big NO-NO. Your other relationships might be short-lived, but the relationship that is supposed to last a lifetime is your relationship with your spouse.
So in relation to these 3 kinds of relationships, the best way to go is to minimize those draining relationships, maintain a few neutral relationships and foster your replenishing relationships.
How do you recognize a draining relationship then? I would like to talk about that more in my next post “Toxic”.
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